"Private Stokes reporting for duty, sir!" He laughs at my sorry attempts to impress him with the old military commands I hear on TV. He throws me a black Army ROTC shirt and proclaims, "I'm going to make a soldier out of you yet!" We both laugh as we continue to unpack our bags. "Colonel, I have to get sexy for this cruise. The ladies are waiting for me". He replies, "You better change your name, you don't want to f*ck up and then have them google you. Good thing I didn't have google in my time. All of those korean women would have found me and said the baby is yours! Just like they do on the Maury show" I then begin to laugh uncontrollably both at the joke and at the validity of his statement. So we change our names to Juan and Uncle Jerry. Still focused on how I can gain the upper hand with the women on the ship, I then cut the sleeves off the ROTC shirt and throw it on. "I got it now Colonel!" I say in confidence. "Boy your so stupid!" He chuckles as we make our way out of the cabin.
We head out to the upper deck on the ship. Colonel has on his white linens, sunglasses, and his old man smooth stride. Our eyes are fixed on all the legs, thighs, and breast of the boat. Just like a platter. He then says "Back in my day, I would have one girl each night of this cruise" I laugh again, both at the joke and the validity of the statement.
We end up at the bar where Col then slides out his business card and hands it to the bartender. "They call me Colonel", he proclaims. "Nice to meet you Colonel", the lady responds in her Russian accent, "My name is Ulga". "Well Ulga, I would like two glasses of scotch, neat, with club soda on the side", Colonel says as he runs his hands through his hair while eyeing the group of 20 year old women. "You see son, that's your mission, to seek and capture". Again, I laugh at the joke but at the seriousness in his thought
As we sip on our cocktails, an idea sparks into my head. "Colonel, I need
A story. Tell me what you think about this". "Uh oh!" Colonel says out loud.
"Let's say that I have enlisted into the ARMY and this is my graduation present. I can tell the girls that this is my last week as a civilian and that I have a high possibility of going to fight in the war. I will say that you brought me on this cruise to cheer me up and to have a good time. You think they will by that? "
All Colonel could say was, "are you sure I'm not your real daddy?"
Who is Colonel?
He's 4 times divorced, 5 times married, retired Lt Colonel with the US Army. He is a mentee of General Colin Powell, he went to college with Lionel Richie and told him that music sh*t wouldn't get him anywhere. He served two tours in vietnam rambo style with bullet rounds across his chest, two hand guns and a assault rifle. He was never wounded he has seen some of his best friends killed in front of him. His dad was a old school pimp who trafficked women across the midwest. He is a only child and the last surviving member of his last name. He owns businesses, real estate, has owned over 45 cars. He is 69, wears a hat with a feather in it. I am 24 and I wear Michael Jordan sneakers, and he is my best friend.
He has been my father figure for the past 2 years. He has taught me how to smoke cigars, drink scotch, and play roulette. We have traveled together by land,air, and sea. We have flown first class on our Vegas getaways, we have traveled to his vacation homes and sailed the Atlantic on cruises filled with white linens and nights at the casino. We have ran business together and helped over 1600 students in the local school district. I have spent many of nights at his in home bar with his wife and long time army friend chatting it up about life and our next business plans. We have gone to church and mentored many young men together. He has taught me the good and bad's about woman and has embraced my girlfriend as his own. I am a honorary member of his Vietnam veterans group. We have worked together, lived together, and had good times together. We challenge each others thoughts but are never disrespectful to each other. I trust him and he trusts me. He tells me I am the son he never had. I love him and he loves me.
WHAT IF I never would have met him that day in New Orleans.... The greatest relationships aren't born they are made.
